One Way Ticket

Either we’re gonna live or we’re gonna die. If we die, we gotta deal with being dead. If we’re alive, then we gotta deal with being alive. Sounds simple enough but not quite.

Dead is easy. Continue reading One Way Ticket

PART I: Before, During & After Depression

Before Depression: I am a writer. And a damn good one. During Depression: I’m a fake. I can’t really write. Continue reading PART I: Before, During & After Depression

Hello, God… Are You Listening?

If you are talking to Him, do you think He is listening?

old-cathedral-rodrigo-sicat-wordpress“Let’s stop by Metropolitan Cathedral first,” my mom says even though dusk has crept in and we’ve still got several hours of traffic ahead of us.

We are on official business in her hometown of San Fernando, Pampanga, and I am just about ready to keel over in exhaustion, partly due to the killer heat that I always associate with this place.

I try my best to persuade, coerce and finally threaten her into getting a move on so that we would reach Manila at a decent hour. I even promised to accompany her to Sunday Mass back home and made some more noise but she shot down all my complaints with one pointed look that shut me up. Fast. Continue reading Hello, God… Are You Listening?

Of Loss and Girlfriends

FRIENDS IN GRIEF ARE FRIENDS INDEED. (from left) Karla, me, Angel & Maan. They sent me the message on this post nine days after my mom passed away in 2015.
FRIENDS IN GRIEF ARE FRIENDS INDEED. (from left) Karla, me, Angel & Maan. They sent me the message on this post nine days after my mom passed away in 2015.

Hello, Curtis . Today (and always) we just want you to know that you are loved. – Karla, Angel & Maan

28 Jan 2015, Facebook

I got this note from my girls in Singapore nine days after my mom passed away. I was still in Manila, coming to grips with burying the person I loved the most only four days ago. The photo above, sent with the message, reminded me that I may be alone at the moment inside my parents’ bedroom, hopelessly trying to take in the fading scent of my mom’s perfume on her pillows, but I AM NOT ALONE in this journey of grief.

Of course, it would take me another year or so to really BELIEVE that statement above. :P In His time, my friends. In His Time.


When Surviving Is All You Can Do

I am responsible for all my decisions, actions and inaction. But I also understand that in spite of this, outcomes are unpredictable — and there is no use worrying or engaging in recriminations — because whatever happens, I will survive. If you are good in only one thing, it might as well be in being a survivor.

When you are fighting to simply breathe, NONE of the things you worry about now will matter. Always look forward with accumulative discernment and believe in yourself.

And of course, LOVE.

28 Jan 2014, Facebook post

800,000 Hopeless Souls… And Counting

According to the World Health Organization, 800,000 people die by suicide every year, and for every successful suicide there are many more people who attempt it. About 20 percent of people who die by suicide have made a prior suicide attempt. But the stigma attached to suicide can be isolating and discourages help-seeking behaviors.

In seems people are fearful if we talk about suicide we’ll trigger risky behaviors. But if we don’t talk about it, how are we going to understand it? If we don’t understand it, how can we be compassionate and empathetic? And if we don’t treat those at risk with compassion and empathy, how do we expect them to seek help?

Excerpt from Why I’m Speaking Up About How Suicide Is Discussed in the Emergency Room by Sally Buchanan-Hagen. Published in Read original article here

Featured photo from

Living with Depression: Lesson #3

You are not alone.

Had I known much earlier that I was not the only one suffering from depression in my circle, I would have reached out much sooner to my friends, and then maybe my journey to wellness would have started, well, much earlier.  Continue reading Living with Depression: Lesson #3

Seen “Sybil”? 10 Movies On Mental Illness

Have seen Girl, Interrupted, Black Swan, One Flew Over..., A Beautiful Mind and the magnificent Sybil.  Planning to see the rest soon. :) Which ones have you seen?

Living With Depression: Lesson #2

When you have depression, everybody becomes a liar.

Your friends lie to you. Continue reading Living With Depression: Lesson #2

%d bloggers like this: